How to be a Beautiful Badass – Part 3

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Today is the third and final part of How to be a Beautiful Badass. In case you missed the first two parts, you can check them out here and here.

Now let’s get into the final four ways to be a Beautiful Badass!

10) Stop Comparing

In Beautiful Badass I go in depth on this topic because I think it’s incredibly important, but it’s not discussed very often. Women really need to pay attention to this one.

Beautiful Badasses should NOT compare themselves to other women – be it athletes, models, friends, actresses, siblings, figure competitors, or any other individual.

Every person is unique, both mentally and physically. You may have short arms and a long torso. You may have long arms and a short torso. You may have different training interests/goals.

Point is, you may have completely different leverages, muscle origins and insertions, limb lengths, height, and dozens of other differences than the person to whom you compare yourself.

As an example, the woman who is short in height but constantly compares herself to a model who is a foot taller than her is fighting a battle she can never win. Why waste the energy and stress yourself out over something you have absolutely no control over, and something you can never change?

Bottom line here – stop comparing! As cliché as it may be, you should focus on being the best person that you can be. You’ll save yourself a lot of frustration and potential heartache.

There is nothing wrong with discovering the strengths you naturally possess, and then improving and highlighting them as much as possible.

11) Don’t Focus on the Scale

Relying on the scale for weight loss and body composition changes can be counterproductive. While it can be useful at times, most people put too much emphasis on the number staring back at them.

I’ve witnessed plenty of women completely transform their bodies without the scale budging a noticeable amount (as long as they aren’t severely overweight, that is). It’s very common for women to maintain the same bodyweight (or close to it) but look entirely different after working out and eating smart consistently.

Sure, the number on the scale may only be a few pounds less, or even the same, but she’ll have much less body fat, more muscle, look better in her clothes, and have more confidence and energy.

I have nothing against stepping on a scale every couple of weeks just to make sure nothing crazy is going on or to keep you on track, but you absolutely shouldn’t get on it every day. Honestly, I’d encourage you to get rid of the scale all together. Seriously. Just toss it in the trash.

Instead of worrying about the number on the scale, focus on better indicators of your progress – energy levels, how you look in your clothes, performance in the gym, a few simple measurements taken every few weeks (waist, hips, thighs, etc), confidence levels, etc. Those are significantly better sources for feedback.

If you’re addicted to the scale, I challenge you to put it away. Go get it right now; put it in the back of a closet (or better yet, throw it away). Commit to eating smart and training hard, use some of the measurements listed above for the next several weeks, and see what happens.

12) Don’t Focus on “Feeling the Burn” or Burning Calories

“Feeling the burn” when you workout doesn’t mean you’re burning off body fat or even doing something worthwhile. Go tread water in a pool for 20 minutes – you’ll feel the burn, you’ll probably cramp up, but you won’t be improving your body composition or physical appearance in the process.

Instead of trying to “feel the burn”, focus on using perfect form, squeezing out more reps than the previous workout, or adding more weight to the bar.

Furthermore, there’s nothing fun about trying to estimate how many calories you burn in a workout. However, there is something very motivating about tracking what really matters – your performance.

Forget about burning calories and “feeling the burn;” focus on getting stronger and improving your performance and your efforts will be well rewarded. You’ll probably even enjoy working out much more too.

And finally, the 13th way to be a Beautiful Badass . . .

13) Don’t  “Exercise.”

Being a Beautiful Badass goes far beyond getting in a workout on a consistent basis.

Again, being a BB is all about attitude.

“Exercising” is a chore; it’s something you don’t necessarily want to do, but you (maybe) do it anyway. When I hear or think of the term “exercising”, I get the same feeling like I did when I was a kid and my Mom told me to clean my room or do some other household chore.

It’s hard to do something consistently and wholeheartedly when you view it as just another chore; something else you’re supposed to do or have to do. Most times you’ll do whatever you can to get out of it or put it off.

Training (or working out, whichever term you prefer), on the other hand, is completely different. Training is driven by a positive mindset and provides long-term fulfillment and motivation. Training keeps you motivated to show up to the gym day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year.

Training has clear and defined goals. Training is something you do because it leads you in the direction you want to go with your health, performance, and body composition goals.

The mindset of “training” versus “exercising” is what separates those who jump on the latest and greatest band wagon only to quickly revert back to bad habits without any results compared to those who stay the course long term and constantly improve.

Those who “exercise” will quickly try the latest fad diet. They may lose a few pounds, but they quickly give up only to regain the weight, usually with interest.

Beautiful Badasses apply a few basic strength training and nutrition principles and achieve their goals.

It’s not a quick fix – it’s a lifestyle.

So ask yourself this question: do I “train”, or do I “exercise”? If you’re a person who “exercises” out of obligation, I suggest you set positive goals that’ll keep you motivated. And a goal like “losing weight” won’t work here. A much better, measurable goal would be something like “I want to perform 5 perfect chin-ups” or “I want to deadlift 1.5 times my bodyweight.”

Those goals are positive and measurable. And guess what – if you follow a smart workout program and eat smart consistently, not only will you attain those goals, but you’ll also improve your body composition as well. The fat loss you achieve will just be a wonderful side effect from training for performance.

There you have it – now you know how to become a Beautiful Badass. And if you already are a BB, hopefully you have some information on how to become a better Beautiful Badass.

Now you know HOW to become a Beautiful Badass. But what should you DO now? Get the exclusive Beautiful Badass Mini Course that includes a Free workout and start building a better body. You’ll also get insider only information. Just sign up below.

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  • “I freaking LOVE this info! I'm determined to be a Beautiful Badass!” -Tina V
  • Tami

    I just found your blog and I could cry, I'm so happy! I love lifting heavy things(no pastel DBs for me) and I get frustrated at the severe lack of information and community for women lifters. Where is T-Nation for the ladies? Thank you, Nia for making a place for strong women to encourage each other to get stronger :)

  • http://www.beautifulbadass.com Nia Shanks

    Thank you for the very kind and generous words! I'll do my best to keep providing great information and showing the world that women can be strong AND feminine!!

    Thanks again for the support. It's greatly appreciated. : )

  • http://unblob.blogspot.com/ Cort The Sport

    This has been an excellent series. #13 really spoke to me. I'm an ATHLETE and I TRAIN. It is a matter of attitude, goals, and self-perception.

    I will never forget the first time my trainer referred to me as an “athlete”…and I was 42 years old. I was a newbie runner training for a half-marathon. Never before in my whole life had I been referred to as an athlete and it was a long while before I was comfortable with thinking of myself in that way. It became a self-fulfilling prophesy, and you know what, I became an athlete. I AM an athlete (and a badass one too….even now at 44!!)

    So yeah, quit with the exercising and TRAIN!!!

  • http://gordonwatts.com/#health Gordon

    I think you make a good point about not comparing yourself to others, whose strengths & weaknesses are different from your own.

    However, there is a balance in this regard:

    On the one hand, yes, you are right –and comparisons can be discouraging –because EVERYONE is 'weak' on *some* area (and thus can be beaten).

    But on the other hand, competition is good in as much as it helps push us further.

    Furthermore, Nia, even WHEN attempting to 'compare' yourself to others who are 'different' (for example: Height, Weight, Reach, Biometric measurement of torso lengths/ratios, etc.), it still is possible to make corrections to all of these –and at least get a 'rough estimate' of a comparison –in other words, a good 'gym lift.'

    I, myself, do this when I deadlift or bench press: When trying to 'catch up' to any number of friends (both men and women) who are very skilled & strong, I will NOT fail to put the weight on deadlift blocks –or adjust the bench press ROM (Range of Motion) to compensate –and in the cases of my really tough competitors, such as Ray, who is the gym-owner's son –and a close friend of mine, I will also make “pound-for-pound” bodyweight corrections too –since he IS heavier then me.

    So, I say all this to introduce balance in a perspective here –competition can be good -if you don't let it get you discouraged when you (inevitably) lose -at some point or another.

    It can be 'fun' for us to try an have friendly competition among friends –or, as many 'Star Trek' fans might identify with – The 'Klingon Warrior' battle “mentality!” (It's all in the mind, after all.)

  • http://www.beautifulbadass.com Nia Shanks

    Friggin' AWESOME! It's all about attitude. Thanks for sharing!

  • http://www.beautifulbadass.com Nia Shanks

    Friendly competition is fine but I was mostly speaking of comparing yourself to another person physically – not performance wise.

    I still don't agree with comparing yourself performance wise and then making self-corrections.

  • charmed1taz

    I love the philosophy of not judging a workout based on the burn or how many calories you burn. Calorie burning 24/7 is more improtant than in any given workout and feeling the burn is fine but is more of a side effect of training. I also love the idea of training, motor learning, skill development. The mainstream mentalility of “exerciser” is just too general and takes the focus of what you are suppose to be doing workout to workout.

  • http://www.beautifulbadass.com Nia Shanks

    Taz- Thanks for sharing!

  • http://myomytv.com Marianne

    Hey Nia, the point about not comparing yourself is SO important! Us women are a nightmare at comparing ourselves and putting ourselves down because we are not like someone else, or we cannot lift what they lift. I am guilty of this sometimes and I really have to snap myself out of it!

    Just remember everything is relative to YOU!

    Great points!

    Cheers

    Marianne

  • http://www.beautifulbadass.com Nia Shanks

    Marianne-

    Yep. I still catch myself doing this from time to time, and I have to remind myself of that very thing.

    Thanks for sharing! By the way, I LOVED your article on Bret's site!!!

  • http://myomytv.com Marianne

    Thanks Nia :) Must start working on my BB profile next.

    Hopefully we will get to meet some day :D

    Cheers

    Marianne

  • http://chocolatechillimango.com/ Viviane Buzzi

    I love this series!!! I'm getting back into TRAINING (yay, i always call it that!) after a slump post illness. Feeling motivated again … thanks for sharing!!!

  • http://www.beautifulbadass.com Nia Shanks

    Viviane-

    Do work!!!